How to love yourself deeply and passionately?
Hey, this is love guru, and today I want to talk to you about how to love yourself more. The reason that this matters and it’s so important is that our ability to be in a healthy relationship and to love someone else is dictated by our degree of love that we have for ourselves.
And yet, most people don’t look there first.They don’t really try to develop their own self-love or self-growth and if you’ve been on this path for a while, you are the type of person who’s developing yourself, loving yourself more.
If you’re just starting out and learning about yourself and developing yourself, then you’re discovering that that is important.
So today I’m going to give you three practices to focus on that will increase your self-love, and my challenge to you is, whether you’re on the advanced scale of this or just starting out,
that you turn up the volume on these three practices to expand the love that you have for yourself and watch your levels of joy and fulfillment and success go to a whole new level.
So practice number one is to be kind in your mind.
In order words, to stop criticizing yourself. You know, often we are harder on ourselves than we would ever let anyone else be to us.
We will talk to ourselves in the privacy of our own mind in ways that we would never let anyone. We would break up with someone or end a friendship with someone if they talked to us the way that we allow ourselves to talk to us in moments when we’re being critical.
My wife, after she has given birth to our daughter, it was a couple months after our daughter was born, and I’m brushing my teeth in the bathroom mirror and I look over atirene and Irene is looking at herself in the mirror brushing her teeth and tears are just streaming down her cheeks.
And her body wasn’t bouncing back after the pregnancy as quickly as some of her friend’s bodies has bounced back.
And so I turned to her and I said, “Babe,what are you thinking right now?” And, with tears streaming down her cheeks, she says,“I’m not being very nice to myself.” And so I went over there and I hugged her and I whispered in her ear. I said, “You be nice to my wife.
I love my wife. My wife is beautiful. She’s gorgeous just the way she is and I want you to be nice to her.”And I was telling – I won’t even let my wife be mean to my wife.
So my challenge toyou is to turn up the volume on how you can be kind in your own mind and stop criticizing yourself.
Step number two is to forgive yourself quickly.
In order to really love ourselves and love anyone else, having a healthy practice ofongoing forgiveness is essential, and especially for ourselves.
There was a moment when I got booked to speak in another country and I wasn’t making a lot of money at this time in my coaching and speaking career and so the cheapest flight I could get was a red-eye.
And I was planning on leaving on wednesday and so it was a tuesday and I wake up and I’m going to pack that day and I get an email from the people who were picking me up saying, “We’re looking forward to seeing you today,” and I started to get nervous.
I thought, “What?” And I checked my flight itinerary. I miscalculated when my speaking engagement was and because it was a red-eye, I didn’t get the flight times correct and I booked a flight for theday that was going to get me after my actual speaking engagement.
So, instantly, panic flooded my body, I get online and I start searching for a flight that will get me there that day. The only flight they had was $1,500. And so I’m like,“Oh my gosh.”
So I spent five minutes panicking: “How am I going to afford this flight? May be I should just cancel the seminar.”
There were going to be, you know, 50 to 100 people there expecting me to speak in this other country. I calmed myself, I booked the flight, I threw my stuff in a suitcase because the flight was leaving in three hours. I had to get myself to the airport.
And on the way to the airport, I can hear myself beating myself up in my mind: “How could you be so dumb? You didn’t even look at the itinerary correctly.”
And I’m starting to beat myself up in my mind and I knew that for me to show up and be my best and really serve the people who has come out to see me and really pour into them, pour into them love and possibility, that I would need to forgive myself and do it quickly.
So I took a deep breath, I learned from themistake, and said, “Okay, I’m going to double check these itineraries every timethat I book a flight,” and I released the energy and I forgave myself.
And I showed up in a completely new state to this seminar, delivered this talk. The seminar was a huge success. It ended up generating $17,000 in clients, which was a huge deal for myself and my business at that moment.
But it wouldn’t have been possible if I had shown up in a negative, self-critical state. Only my forgiving myself and changing my state allowed that kind of result.
So my encouragement for you is to consider what could you forgive yourself for that you could release so that you can move forward in your life in the right state to create your amazing results?
And practice number three in loving ourselvesmore is to listen to yourself. And here’s what I mean by that.
There was this great study done where they interviewed thousands of people and they asked these people, “When is it that you feel most loved in your life?”
And after all that research came back, the number one answer that people gave when they felt most loved was when they felt listened to, when they really feel heard.
And so we’re often quick to listen to someone else and really be present and hear them, and my encouragement to you is to listen to yourself and be present for yourself.
“I really needa weekend at home. I really need to lay low this weekend and just relax.” And the part of your mind will think, “Well, you’re not going to be sociable then.
Maybe you won’t meet your man then. But you say,“No. This is really going to serve me. This is how I can most love myself in this moment is to be kind to myself and give myself this weekend down.”
So I encourage you to ask yourself that thing: “What will love yourself look like now?” And listen to yourself. It’ll be amazing.
Often you’ll hear it will be, be kinder to yourself, not criticize or to forgive yourself for something or to give yourself the time or the breathing room, something that your soul really needs in that moment.
And when you love on yourself in those ways, you release more life energy, you create more fulfillment and you put yourself on a path of attracting more love into your life.
So I challenge you this week to adopt those three practices. Be kind in your mind, forgive yourself fast, and listen to yourself and serve yourself in the ways that you need love most and you’ll see extra-ordinary love come into your life this week.
So if this thinking serves you and you like it, I encourage you to share it with someone who matters to you and increase the love in their life.
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