How to become more confident and conquer rejection.
Hey, this is love guru. I’m sure you’ve read or heard from other relationship experts that men are attracted to women who have confidence.
That begs the question, what does that confidence actually look like? More importantly, how do we generate that state of confidence in our lives?
Today, I’m going share with you one primary principle that you can employ in your own life to raise your levels of confidence and help you attract the relationship that you want in your life. Here’s what it is, be a meaning maker.
What this means is, any event that you experience in your life, whether it’s a guy not asking you out, or a guy not texting you back, or whether it’s a positive event or a negative event, any event in of itself is neutral,and then we get to charge that circumstance, or that event, with meaning.
Everyone one of us, we make meaning out of that event. Now, we can either make meaning that builds our sense of self-worth and confidence, or we can make meaning that fuels our self-doubtand discouragement.
I’ll give you a quick example. I was working with one of my clients recently and she said she had met this great guy. They hit it off. They had a great time, went on a series of dates.
She was talking about they had gone about a week, and he hadn’t texted or called, and then they went out again. On that date where they went out again, she told him, “Hey. You know, if we’re gonna go out I would really love to hear from you and have some advanced planning.”
She basically talked to him about her needs. After that date, he vanished. She was on the call saying, “Like I feel like I’m walking on egg shells.
I feel like I did something wrong, like I exploded that relationship, and if I hadn’t done that, he would be a great guy, and we’dbe in this great relationship, but I totally screwed it up, and I made this big mistake.”
She had all these doubts, and all this discouragement about that circumstance. I taught her this principle about, be a meaning maker, because the event in of itself is neutral.
She spoke her needs. The man ran in the opposite direction. That is the events. He stopped calling. What does that mean though? The meaning she was making of it was that she was unworthy.
She had made a mistake, and that she had exploded and sabotaged that relationship. I asked her, I said, “So, if that’s what that means, how does that feel connected to that meaning?
How do you feel when you think about that?” She said, “Well, I feel horrible. I feel unworthy. I feel sad. I feel mad at myself.” I said, “Okay. Well, you get to decide whatever meaning you want.
What meaning could you give this event that would leave you with a feeling of empowerment, that would leave you with a feeling of confidence,leaving you with a feeling of actually feeling hope filled for your future?
What meaning could you charge it with?” It took her a few minutes, but she thought to herself, and she thought, “Hm. Well, what if … See, I asked him for what I wanted which isn’t unreasonable, simple communication and advanced planning. Probably something that he want as well.
That is not unreasonable to want advanced planning, and good connection, and communication. And yet, he wasn’t willing to do that. That’s not what he wanted, so he fell away from my life.
What if this was the universe actually protecting me from future pain? What if it was the universe having my back, guarding me from a horrible relationship.
If I were to stay in it, that would waste many months, if not years, and lead to not something that I wouldn’t want? What if it was the universe clearing the way for Mr. Right, clearing the way for someone who does want an amazing relationship?”
I said, “How do you feel now? If you charge this with the meaning of, ‘Oh,what if the you- … This is the universe protecting me and accelerating the process of me meeting my man.
If you thought that, how do you feel?” She thought, “I feel a whole lot better. I feel worthy. I feel confident. I feel grounded.” I told her, “Here’s the deal. The only one who gets to make the meaning in your life is you.
So, choose to give these events meanings that empower you and generate feelings of confidence, rather than giving it meaning that generates fear, and discouragement, and doubt in yourself.” I say to you this day, you are the highest authority on your life.
You get to charge any circumstance, or anyevent, with meaning. Be very careful about the meaning that you place on circumstances and events.
If someone rejects you, or if someone doesn’t call you back, instead of making that meaning like, “I’m unlovable. I’m ugly. I’m not worthy,” any of the stories that those old paradigms want to tell you, give it meaning that actually empowers you and fuels you forward in your life.
Meaning that, “Oh, this is actually the universe making way, clearing what’s not good for me out of my life, and making room for something amazing happening in my life.”
As you stay tuned to that reality, that’swhat you begin to attract into your life, something amazing, something extra-ordinary,something that you absolutely deserve and are worthy of, that incredible relationshipthat’s coming into your life now.
I hope this serves you. Take this tool, use it in your life to empower yourself, and share this with friends, because if anyone doesn’t know this information, it has the power to change their life.
It’s one of the most powerful personal development tools any one of us can use in our lives. I invite you to share this with someone that you care about.
Here’s my question for you, what question do you have that, if you had the answer, it would move you forward in your love life? What question about men, about dating, about love or relationships, do you have that, if that were solved, it would move you into the direction of your dreams? Go ahead and post that question below.
I love reading your questions, and will help me create some great content to be able to serve you and help you in your love life better. If you’re not subscribed to this site, take a moment, click the subscribe button, so that way you’ll be the first to get the contents that we produce, and that come out you soon. Thank you.
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